Procrastinating? The Time To Act Is Now!

The deadline for "Time Management Strategies That Will Make Your Life Easier" is Wednesday, September 1.  This workshop is a must-attend event. You can register by visiting the sidebar.

After you finish registering, let's take a minute and talk about procrastination.

Registered? OK, let's talk.

There are many reasons why people put things off. According to Dr. Linda Sapadin, author of It's About Time, there are six styles of procrastination. These styles are: "The Perfectionist," "The Crisis-Maker," "The Dreamer," "The Defier," "The Worrier," and "The Overdoer." Typically people have two styles of procrastination - a major and a minor style. Dr. Sapadin's book includes self-assessment questionnaires that will help the reader ascertain her major and minor styles. To overcome procrastination use specific strategies that address specific styles.

I won't cover all of the styles now. Instead I will focus on "The Perfectionist Procrastinator" because it is the most frequent style of procrastination that I encounter. Some of the Perfectionist Procrastinator's traits are: gets caught up in the details that no one else cares about, has difficulty initiating or completing projects because they just don't live up to her standards, is critical of her accomplishments, has a hard time delegating because the tasks have to be "done a certain way," and is upset if she doesn't do something as well as her peers.

One of my client's came up with a brilliant analogy on how the Perfectionist Procrastinator's style wastes time:  time is spent putting one's ducks in a row at the expense of getting the ducks to march! Moving the ducks is the goal, but the goal was lost by hyper-focusing on the formation of the ducks.

Some of the ways I see the Perfectionist Procrastinator style at work are:

• Not filing papers because the client might want to change the structure of the filing system later (meanwhile the papers stack up),
• Not using help on projects because "it's faster if I do it myself" or the help just doesn't understand how important it is to do things a certain way (meanwhile the project is stalled),
• Spends hours setting up a project notebook which is intended to help manage tasks and projects and as a result has little time to work on the project,
• Does not start a term paper until every little fact on the subject is known (meanwhile the due date quickly approaches and pasts).

Overcoming procrastination, regardless of the style, requires changing the way one thinks, speaks and acts. Expect to spend a minimum of six weeks of consistent effort in order to see meaningful changes. Expect a rocky road to change. Why? Mistakes will be made. Strategies will be temporarily forgotten. Giving up might seem more appealing than persevering.  But what is gained through perseverance is immense - being more accepting of one's self, being more responsive, being more flexible, being more relaxed, and being more effective.

Dr. Sapadin offers several ways to change the way one thinks, speaks and acts. Some of her suggestions are
1) Acknowledge that perfectionism is the problem and take ownership of it.
2) Focus on what's realistic rather than what's ideal and be mindful of the resources - and the amount of time is a resource - that are available.
3) Let go of the "all or nothing" thinking and explore flexibility.
4) Change your language: replace "should" with "could," "have to" with "want to," and "must" with "choose to."
5) Set up time limits for your tasks and use a timer or a buddy to help you respect the limits.
6) Focus on doing just a few important things each day rather than an endless list of things.
7) Make one deliberate mistake each day.
8) Focus on "being" instead of "doing." Live life.

Point eight is my my favorite because living life to its fullest really is the goal.

I recommend reading Dr. Sapadin's insightful book.  It is available on Amazon. 

Stump the Organizer Saturday! Newly Diagnosed With ADHD

“Denise, my 15 year old grandson lives with me. After nearly flunking his first semester in high school his pediatrician diagnosed him with ADHD and prescribed Ritalin. My grandson has been taking the medicine for almost a month and let’s just say it’s not going well. His room is horrible. During his first week back from winter vacation he forgot his homework everyday so his starting the new semester with Fs. He has become surly. I see that you work with people with ADD. How can you help him? “ Name Withheld Upon Request

Watching someone you love suffer is not easy. No one wants to flunk. No one enjoys a surly mood – even the person afflicted with it.

I am not a mental health expert nor am I a doctor. But what I hear between the lines is a real concern for your grandson’s behavior – especially his change in temperament since beginning Ritalin. If you have not done so, please express your concern for your grandson’s well being with him in a way that he knows you are on his side. Please, please, please express these concerns with the pediatrician. There are many drugs used to treat ADD/ADHD. Some drugs work better for some than others. Doctors use patient feedback took ensure that patients receive the most effective treatment. It is important to know that drugs do not cure ADD/ADHD.

Dealing with the emotional impact of his diagnosis and learning behavioral strategies for coping with ADD/ADHD are the realm of a psychologist or licensed counselor. Your pediatrician should be able to make a referral so your grandson receives the help he needs.

I encourage you both to arm yourself with knowledge. “ADDitude” magazine (www.additudemag.com) is one of my favorite resources. Look into joining a group such as Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder (www.chadd.org) or Attention Deficit Disorder Association (www.add.org). These groups provide support and knowledge. Driven to Distraction (Hallowell & Ratey) is a great book – many of my clients really love it. ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize (Kolberg & Nadeau), Organizing Solutions for People with Attention Deficit Disorder (Pinsky) and The Organized Student (Goldberg) are excellent resources for organizing strategies.

Organizing strategies can make a difference in how effectively your grandson operates. Being more effective and productive may lead to a sense of greater control and calm. Here are a few organizing strategies you can put in place now.
* Make sure that your grandson has a student planner and he writes down his assignments and all of his social commitments.
* Use large, brightly colored sticky notes on the front door, bathroom mirror, and locker with checklists of routine things to remember.
* Strengthen his sense of time by using analog clocks and an analog timer. One of my favorite timers is the Time Timer (www.timetimer.com).
* Set up acceptable working periods – such as 20 minutes – to encourage focus. If the activity is not completed in 20 minutes then take a couple minute break then set the timer for another 20 minutes.
* The Sonic Boom alarm clock (www.sonicalert.com)has a really loud alarm and vibrates so even the hard-to-wake wake up.
* Make everything as simple as possible and eliminate unnecessary steps.
I wish you and your grandson peace and understanding as you face this challenge in your lives.